Sadly, COVID has made us such cold people. In trying to make sure I keep my father, my sisters and my friends with children or babies safe, I hardly touch people; which isn't too hard for me since I got to practice social distancing while I lived in Japan for a year and a half. Who knew that wearing masks and keeping distance would mean so much when we get hit by a pandemic that requires such measures.
Yet looking back, this is probably the exact reason why I decided to come home. I only got hugs on Sundays from church family or when a sneaky student can steal a hug from me at work (which I sheepishly accept with a school manager nodding that it's okay since in Japan, keeping distance is the norm.)
When I got mugged, I never shed a tear. Not until I was with church family on Sunday and they gave me so much warmth. Not just from Filipino churchmates but from Japanese friends as well.
There were times that my student would have such big problems on their shoulders and it was only through touch, a pat on the back or a quick tap on their hand, that I could be there for them. Then they would translate on their phones that they needed that. That after that class, she was going to jump on the train tracks but because of that hug, it changed her mind. Another student told me he was crying with anxiety due to exams and school demands. Society's expectation to study3x, work3x, earn3x but because of the last tap on the shoulder I gave him before we ended class where I said, "Hey, see you. I'm always glad to see you. I expect you in class next week. Don't do anything stupid." is the reason why he appeared in class again the following week. A hug from my 3 year old when I just lost my grandfather made me grateful for her. She probably thought that she got warmth from her favorite teacher Ressa, but that hug did wonders for a grieving adult who had no family to come home to, to help deal with the grief.
The past year, I kind of felt the same way. In my home country at that, and I hate it. I can't hug people, people can't hug me. In order to protect one another, we have lost that warmth. That connection. Yet I hugged a friend who lost her father during this pandemic because I felt at that time that's what Christ would have wanted me to do for her. We just well didn't breathe during the entire time of the hug. LOL
I mean where do you draw the line between trying to be distant to protect your loved ones and your friends, and being too distant that you end up losing what it means to be human, and being the light that God made you to be during dark times such as these?
I'm currently reading a book by Joena San Diego who I recently found out happens to be a fellow churchmate from Victory Pasig and I quote, "Don't hold back your love from anything you say or do, dear friend, because His love through your life can change the lives of many. YOU ARE WHAT SOMEONE DESPERATELY NEEDS.", emphasis mine.
1 Corinthians 16:14, "Let all that you do be done in love." Whether it be in a hug or a phone call. Check on your strong friends. Be intentional when you reach out to someone. That though we can't quickly date as much as we wanted to, as often as we're used to, that that person knows that you are still there. Praying for them before they even utter a word.
This year, I want to exude more love and warmth. Who knows, that love will save another struggling soul. The same way it saved mine when I needed it the most.
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