3 Months After Getting Mugged in Japan, Losing my Grandfather, Moving to A New Apartment, I WRITE AGAIN

So here I am, needing to pack but haven't done any of that yet. Thinking of what to do first. Realizing this was the same predicament I had 3 months ago when I learned I needed to leave Japan because my grandfather or Tatay as we fondly called him, passed away.

That flight, was the first time of going back home that I was not at all elated. I haven't seen my mother in a year since I left for the Land of the Rising Sun, but I wasn't even excited for that. I cried the night before, I cried the morning I dragged myself to the airport, conditioning myself that once I land in the Philippines I needed to be strong for my mom, my sisters and for the rest of my family. 

When I learned about Tatay's conditon, that was the day I was supposed to go to the Chiba police for another round of interrogation and police sketch of my attacker. To be honest, I contemplated about going in again because I could no longer recall anymore information that I haven't already told them. I mean I've exhausted in much detail to the best of my ability all that I knew during the initial 3 hours of CSI and interrogation we did in the winter cold. As well as another round of questioning and re-enactment the day after.

To cut that short but for you all to get the gist here are some photos which I sent my company that night as proof so they'd understand if I was sort of out of it when I reported to work that day with only 3hrs of sleep in.

Seriously, I went through a lot. From shock to denial, to acceptance that yes I got mugged in what is considered as one of the safest countries in Asia. Shock to denial to acceptance of how stressful it is to be involved in a criminal case in a country I could not speak the language in. I would wear running shoes to work so I could run from the train station to my house (since my mugger has not been caught and since I fought back by kicking his motorcycle twice to fight for my Gaijin card and passport, I was fearful he would come back.)

The ironic thing was I never cried when I got mugged. I only broke down when people at church showed me so much love and concern. I remember going one Sunday and asking for only one thing which was for my peace and joy to be restored. I have always been a smiling person. I loved Japan from the day I stepped foot in it and I was not going to leave the country with such bad memory.

I knew that "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10 and all I knew was I had to cling on all the more to the Lord for my peace and joy to come back.

Just when I thought I was getting my footing back, exactly 2 weeks from getting mugged, I learned that my Tatay was in critical condition I broke down in tears but still went to work praying he'd be OK. After 24hours, he passed. My only consolation amidst all of my tears was that years ago, my Tatay like me accepted Christ as his personal Lord and Savior and that he is no longer suffering.

So another round of shock to denial to acceptance that my grandfather passed away. Again, when I learned about the news, I cried myself to sleep. I was only able to sleep when I prayed. Woke up the next day to work and booked the first flight out of Japan the next morning.

Fast forward to coming back to Japan after much needed time with family as we coped with the loss of my grandfather together; I was faced with having to clean my apartment out so I could move into a new apartment which I fought hard for due to my safety. 

I honestly was glad to have been with family yet I felt defeated. Defeated enough to even want to stay at the place where I got mugged. Filled with so much exhaustion both emotionally, physically and spiritually. Yet I knew I had to move on. Move forward. That it wasn't where God wanted me to be more so, to remain in. (Another blog entry will be for the answered prayer of my apartment and and another answered prayer in the people God used to help me gain back my peace, joy and security.)

A lot of people think that as a Christian we're exempted from all pain. Being a Christian doesn't work that way. It's not like in Monopoly where we get a free pass before we go to jail or become a millionaire. Not at all. If that was the case then I shouldn't have experienced all of that. I should have been the last person to have been mugged or have lost a loved one. I know I got through it because of Him. Only by His grace, His strength, His love and His peace.

1 Peter 1:7 "These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

Now I really have to pack. My flight's in a few hours and this time no more tears. Only happy tears. 'Til next blog!