Oh Daughter of Eve | Embrace Being a Woman

The other day a good friend of mine surprised me. I was reading or probably staring into oblivion and someone back-hugged me and it truly made my day. You know the kind that you thought only happens in K-dramas. Now before any of my avid readers squeal with glee, it's not what you think. Prayers pa more for me to ever publish THE ONE here. That blog already has a draft and a working title of TOTGA: The One That God Allowed. Not today though, not today. 

Going back to the other day. I usually don't like surprises. That's why in any given establishment, I always have to face the door. Specially if I'm with my siblings or lady friends. I am always alert. If there is any danger coming toward, like water about to be spilled, I will be the first to guard and shield you from it.

You will only see me seated with my back to the door if: 1. I am with my father. 2. I am with a male relative or friend that I trust my life with. 3. I am with that person that God allowed.

It can be tiresome at times. To be both woman and man in a world that requires it. We live in a world where some fathers are abroad leaving their wives and children fatherless and needing to grow up and fend for themselves. If you never experienced this, good for you. Thank God for having that solid male presence in your life growing up.

However, the realization that women are privileged enough to receive hugs and reciprocate is something that we women should relish in. It is something that not even men can have. I mean you hardly see a man hug or touch a fellow man. Specially in our society that manning up is so well praised.

Yet I do admire men who are expressive, who let people in. Men who unlike most, do welcome correction and guidance. Specially when you see how they are towards their mothers and sisters. Who are gentle with children and babies. I do notice these things and I do take note. How you are to the women in your nuclear family will be how you are to me and those important to me.

I do also admire men who are cautious and mindful of their actions and are clear with their intentions. Who know when to extend a gentlemanly gesture and when to hold back to protect myself or a friend. Now don't get me wrong, I come from a family of huggers. We are very Western that way. I find holding hands and a quick or tight long hug with family and close friends a norm.

I do however try to keep this warmth to fellow ladies as it may give other people the wrong message. Specially men. I remember an instance when a guy from church confessed that he liked me and that he thought I liked him too. 

When I asked why, he said because every Sunday or every fellowship I would smile at him and at times tap his shoulder ever so quickly to give him his share of snacks. Which shocked me. I am an usher and Kids Church teacher so we always have this motto, give your best smile. Keep your energy up. Whatever it takes.

Being warm is a good thing. Yet it can also very easily, get so misconstrued. Several Sundays after that shocking revelation, I would control my smile and my good friend Neil approaches me, and says "Huy Res, are you okay? Why are you frowning? There are church attendees coming in, best smile diba?" and I quickly told him the matter at hand in a hushed and muttered breath that he needed to cover me so I can smile and not make that guy fall even further. Though here's the thing. It takes 2 to tango. Men need to protect women. Women need to protect men. 

To be honest, not being able to smile killed me inside. Dramatic I know. Yet not giving my brightest smile, is just not me. I always faced life with a smile. I always smiled. I smiled even if my life was falling apart. I smiled even if it was only God and my closest siblings in Christ that knew I was truly devastated. 

Oh daughter of Eve, don't ever be afraid to smile. Don't ever be afraid to show warmth. Don't ever be afraid to shed a tear because that is how God made you to be. Let the right people in. The right ones will know how to keep you smiling, or how to bring it back. The right ones will know when it's also not genuine. The right ones will know how to cry with you. The right ones will cheer you on and will know how best to let you grow to become the woman He has called you to be.

        

                                        "You are altogether beautiful, my love;
                                                        there is no flaw in you."   

                                                          Song of Solomon 4:7

When God Whispers | Peace Over Anxiety | Unveiling Plans

So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. (I mean what's new?) But more than thinking, I've been doing a lot of praying and a lot of seeking. I've been shutting out some noise to make sure I am still keen to hearing His voice. 

Recently I have been having mini-bouts of anxiety. Which I notice dwindles down right when I spend time away from everything and just really dig deep into my quiet times. 

When I'm quiet, it usually means three things. 1. I am observing. 2. I am reflecting. 3. I am praying. Now, what exactly do I observe, reflect on and what do I pray for? My surroundings, the people in my direct line of sight, the people that I'm not even looking at, my responses to these people and my environment. Are my responses right, are they wrong, are they wise. 

Now don't get me wrong. I don't always do this. There are also many times I plainly zone out. Aisha, a good friend of mine and I confirmed that at times, we process things a little differently than others. Sometimes we process our thoughts and our emotions in an instant, but most of the time we process things within a 24-48 hr. time frame. Just like businesses. Usually it is during this time frame that we hear God whisper. We read the Word. We repent. We apply. 

I have come to realize that the anxiety and worries of this world all fade away the closer I get to the Lord. Likewise, when I am far from the Lord, the more anxious and worried about the most minute things that I get. I have learned to take breathers, I learned to park things, no matter how short or long of a time that may entail. I've learned to toss things Up to the One who actually knows and has the power to do something about things I can no longer carry on my own.

Whenever I do this, everything seems futile. So tiny and insignificant when pitted against my One, True, Love. The greatest man in my life, my Abba Father. 

It seems that due to the Valentines hurly burly, a lot of people, myself included have been hungover about relationships; but my focus is more on the relationships that molded me. My immediate family, my church family, colleagues, past hurts, and all others. 

I had my quiet time early Sunday morning and it was in Amos 3:3 and 3:7.

Though I understand that this verse is commonly used during weddings or couple anniversaries, these verses spoke to me differently. 

It told me that in a family, a church setting, or even in the office and among friend circles, this is how it works. It all boils down to TWO PEOPLE WHO AGREE TO WALK IN THE LORD and the assurance that GOD WILL UNVEIL HIS PLANS TO HIS SERVANTS AND PROPHETS little by little. 

Little by little. He doesn't just lays down everything for us. He will however pave the path for us LITTLE BY LITTLE. Just enough wisdom and hope to go on. To continue pressing on, but it is up to Him WHEN AND IF He will tell us His plans. We have to trust though that He will and that even when He doesn't, He is still a good, good Father.

Sometimes my anxiety boils down to the millenial thoughts of I DESIRE THIS. I WANT THIS. I DESERVE THIS. GIVE IT TO ME NOW. Often times, that's when the rifts between people we are in relation with parents-child, boss-employee, siblings, friends, customer-waiter happens and more often than not, when things are fueled by anxiety and this immediate rush, things end up failing. We say and do things we shouldn't have. We often end up regretting the hasty and harsh words that came out of our mouths and the actions that followed right after.

Yesterday's preaching cemented this early Sunday quiet time in reminding me that UNITY IS OF THE ESSENCE. We have to see eye to eye. Perhaps not always and not on everything, but we must be united on the core things and during crucial times, so that the Glory of God radiates and pours out in overflow to our surroundings. 

I can write so much more about the whispers of God. I probably would, but for now.. Lunch. And yes, naa siyay kalamunggay. HAHAHA

I leave you with this and I pray that it helps you deal with this Manic Monday and the rest of the week.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

2021 Valentines Letter| Not To You But To the People Who's Loved Me Before You | A Lifelong Love Letter

Dear You,

I'm sorry this year's letter came out a few days late but better late than never right? I just wanted to really know what to put out there this year before I put everything down to be forever immortalized on the worldwideweb.

On February 14, 2021, I had a lot of realizations and thanksgiving. I remembered all the times why Valentines wasn't really lonely and why it was easier to bear during the past years. It is good to post memories on Facebook because it reminds me of the people who kept me together and how God has been so good in loving me all this time.

Every valentines day for the past year, we would always have dinner with my dad and my siblings. We would always have that time blocked out. A few years before this pandemic hit, my dad would tell me "Una na kami." I would walk with them to the parking lot and he would quip, "You have the car. Stay. Ngano man ka gasunod2x namo." and I replied, "Well I'm good for today. I'm tired and I want to go home with you guys magKaraoke mi sa kids." Then I realized that a few years prior to this, I would always have a Young Professionals/Singles dinner with Geri, Tina and Karen right after dating my family.

Prior to getting to church on Sunday, I enjoyed a quiet car ride with my dad. Who was fixing my car in wee hours of the morning but not saying a word to urge me to drive again. I guess He finally understood why I loved car rides with him so much.

I arrived in church with people wanting to hug me but we had to settle for air hugs. If my memory serves me right, it was exactly a year since I stepped foot in church and worshipped the way I did due to this pandemic. 

Jumping up and down while singing, I recalled how it would either be Geri, Karen or Tina who would save me a seat or text, "Naa na ka? Naa na ko. See you!". The same ladies that would jump with me and sing our hearts out, and I said to myself, thank You Lord now I have AnnChie on my left who booked our seats online for us and Kim on my right who would message, "Naa na ka? Naa na ko." very excited to attend the service with. Though keeping them at a good distance to observe protocol, I felt warm.

Then I go on to thank God for the life He's given me and for healing my leg and my heart. That I could actually jump high and worship Him singing at the top of my lungs, unabandoned since my accident.

After the service, as always, the issue would be where to eat. The entire process of "Asa, tagpila, muapas ra ko." in Junrey, Brylle, Brent and Neil reminded me of just like how it was back in the days with Sam, Curt, Juan and the other YP men I used to walk with who always made sure that the ladies would be safe and taken cared of.

In AnnChie, I saw Tina the dancer and my constant food and gym buddy (Sugdan na lagi ang oval balik lagi.). In Kim, Laine, and Guafani, I saw Karen the quiet one but quips with wisdom and punchliners but always the ok one, and in Sashi I saw Geri, my better half who drove for the ladies and who would help me rally the ladies and would give tough love but always in love and gentleness.

In the thoughtfulness and mentoring of ate Rianne and leadership of kuya Archie, I saw ate RJ and kuya Migz. 

Lord, I just want to thank You for giving me my family both in and out of the church. For filling my days up to Valentines this year, with so much love and surprises. You have taught me and kept me clinging to You for the past years. You have fixed relational matters in my life. You have dealt with issues of the past and made me who I am today. You have worked the deep works in me. You have given me old and new people to be an extension of your love for me and for that, I cannot ask for more.

Thank you for all Your love my Abba Father. To many more Heart Days with you!

Always,

Ressa

P.S. To whoever you are that I have been writing to the past years, sorry that this letter didn't turn out to be about you. Meet my family! I pray that your family has been keeping you company and growing strong in the faith these years! See you soonest! <3

"We love because You first loved us." 1 John 4:19

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. For if one falls down, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to help him up!" Matthew 18:19-20

"For when two or three are gathered in Your name, there your presence is with them." Matthew 18:20

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17

    Today, this song rings differently this time. Thank You for choosing me even when You weren't sure if I'd choose You. Thank You Father for choosing and placing me in this family.

THE GOD OF SURPRISES | The God Who Sees | An Almost Love Letter But Not Quite

Having trouble sleeping yet again. Probably because I am too overwhelmed with all the love today. I woke up not knowing that the rest of my day would be filled with so many surprises and so much love.

I look at the date and see that it is still 4 days until Valentines and remembered that I should be writing a love letter again to God knows who for the nth time, but I haven't thought of anything to write so I'll just tell you how much my God loves me.

My love language isn't really much into gifts. My giving language is quality time tied with acts of service; words of affirmation, touch and gifts triple tied if there is such a term.

Receiving love however varies a little bit with gifts being the very last. I wasn't that surprised. You see, I am not really into receiving. I am more of a giver. My time, my heart, my actions, a hug or a pat on the shoulder or a held hand, I easily give. It comes as second nature to me. I have a hard time asking for and receiving material things. 

I don't know if it has something to do with being the eldest or perhaps it's a complex of mine. I also used to hate surprises, to a flaw. I have a type A personality. Needing to know what, when, how and why all the time.

Today however, God surprised me twice. I wanted to get coffee but before I could even leave my seat, my colleague placed an iced coffee on my table saying "Gipahatag ni Arrah." which in Visayan means, it was being given by Arrah. I jumped up, smiled and was just filled with so much joy. I think more than the coffee in my favorite flavor, it made me feel thought of. Like someone has seen me. Someone who knew even the smallest details that could make me smile. 

Later in the afternoon, upon coming home, I saw a package but ignored it. Thinking it was probably for my sisters since I didn't order anything. I also wasn't expecting anything since I've ordered way too much the past months. Then when I took a closer look at the parcel, it was addressed in my name. From a good friend of mine Gracia. Gracia is someone I have only met once in my lifetime, but perhaps it was our same love for God and good books that brought us together and bonded us. She has been my source of books and Bibles for the longest time. Every 3 years I gift my Bible to someone. It is this year that I need to let go of it again. 

Now, the funny thing is that I was the one who asked Gracia for her address last year, remembering her and wanting to send a surprise package anytime within the duration of this year, so it surprised me when she sent me something first considering that the last time she sent me something was in 2019 while I was healing from my accident.

Now to add on to my confusion turned delight, the even stranger thing is that I don't recall sending her my address. The fact that she knew where to send me this gift, the same way that Arrah knew I was still in the office, just when I was about to leave to buy myself coffee, makes me realize that that's how my God is. He knows exactly where I'm at. He knows exactly what my heart needs and most specially what my heart desires even when I don't utter a thing. He just knows. Like how a good and all knowing Father truly knows their child, and is very much eager to give to bring joy to His beloved. 

Gracia also included a note that said, "I remember you liking these books on my wall." I REMEMBER. Those words are enough to get me teary-eyed as I find the right words. HE REMEMBERS. HE NOTICES. HE HEARS. HE SEES US.

Today reminded me of what ate Donna once told me, "You don't have it yet because God knows you don't need it yet. He knows exactly who, when and how to make it come your way." 

So to my ladies, my sisters in Christ who became God's instrument in reminding me of these things, I pray that the Lord will meet you in your needs and your desires as well. I pray that the Lord meets you in your unuttered thoughts and prayers. 

May Proverbs 31:25 forever ring true and exude in your life, "She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future."

Happy Heart's Day! Your heart is so precious that His Son's own heart stopped beating for you.

Ressa Do You Love Me?|Not Yet the 2021 Valentines Letter But Getting There

Most of the time, I try to start coming up with the words to write my love letter to God knows who before Valentines so I could schedule its release on the dot since I know many of my followers look out for it. Every. Year. Though this time exactly 12 years after I wrote my first one, I seem to have encountered a writer's block. 

Probably because this year, I AM GOING BACK TO THE VINE. The ONLY TRUE LOVER OF MY SOUL. The ONE WHO SAW ME MANY YEARS AGO. The ONE THAT CHOSE ME. The ONE THAT UPON SEEING ME, SMILED AND SAID, YOU RESSA, ARE MINE. The ONE WHO CHOOSES ME, YET AGAIN, EACH AND EVERY TIME. The ONE WHO TRULY DELIGHTS IN ME.

Lately, I have been busy with my quiet times and focusing on my prayer life. Praying not only for myself but the burdens God has given me. Mostly for my family, colleagues, and ministry, church family that he prompts me to reach out to to help build His church. Letting the Holy Spirit guide me in who to grasp in back to the Vine. Recalling and thanking the people I have walked with and who have been a tremendous reason as to why I am still walking in Christ. Being the kind of daughter and follower of Christ he commissioned me to be. 

Just like the bride that was found without oil when the master came, I don't want to be found sleeping, empty and unprepared. The master then said, "I DO NOT KNOW YOU." I desire to be the bride brimming with oil. Always ready to meet Him when He comes. READ Matthew 25:1-13. 

Sometimes I ask God why some prayers have been left still yet unanswered. Do I not love Him enough? Do I not read my Bible enough? Have I not served enough? Have I not poured into the lives of others enough? Have I not suffered enough? Have I not cried out to Him in the depths of my heart enough?

Then He answered. In the depths and quietness of dawn, He has answered. Like He always does and will continue to do so. 

He answered me in John 21:15-19 when Jesus, the God of the new testament reinstated Peter. He earnestly asked him if he loved him, 3 times. On the third time that Christ queried and looked earnestly into Simon Peter's heart, Simon started to feel bad and probably borderline annoyed, said "Yes Lord, You know all things, you know that I love you." Yet Christ seals the conversation with, "THEN FEED MY SHEEP." What then is the take away from this? If we love God the way we proclaim we do, then we MUST TAKE CARE OF AND FEED THE FLOCK. 

I guess this spoke a lot to me. If many of you know my walk, I have been serving as a young professional leader in our church both in Victory Dumaguete and Every Nation Tokyo Shibuya for the past 12 years since I got to know and accept Christ as my personal Lord and Savior.

I served alongside great men and women in the church, most of them have been called into different seasons and locations in life. I only have a few left proximity wise. I have gone through transition upon transition. Pouring into the lives of others only to have to be asked by God to let go. Painstakingly and bittersweetly let go and go through the grueling process of building new relationships, not knowing when God will say yet again, "OK RESSA, GIVE IT TO ME. LET GO." As He pries away my clenched fist, removing each finger as I struggled, wrestled, and begged to keep these relationships with me. 

I thought that like other leaders that get called to other churches in other countries, observing how they would take a transition or warming up of 1-2years to get back to connecting and leading in their new home churches again would also happen to me, but nope. God wouldn't have it. It happened to most but not me. Knowing that just like Paul I was commissioned to go to different churches upon arrival in Japan, to serve, encourage, comfort, build up the 2 churches He called me to go to, I basically had no break in my leadership walk. 

It was only when I returned from Japan for good in 2017, that I finally took a much needed break from everything, and got some rest. Reconnecting with family and friends. Focusing on taking off where I left off before leaving for Japan. 

However, those years were in all honesty, not the best years of both my spiritual and personal life. Being in between jobs, breaking my leg, pandemic. The past 2 years not intentionally though, as time and circumstances forced me to take a break; but hey it is what it is and much needed if I must say so myself. Still utterly grateful for the season that was.

In the midst of all this resting, I guess God slowly tugged at my heart, "Ressa, do you love me?" Like Peter I answered, "Oh come on Lord, you know I do." so God leaves me with, "Then you know what to do. Done deal." 

2021 and the years ahead will be the best of my years. I just know it. 

As for this year's Valentines letter to God knows who? ABANGAN. It will be raw, and just like any good and perfect gift from the Lord, it will be one of the best letters yet.

What Covid has Stolen from this Generation|YOU ARE WHAT SOMEONE DESPERATELY NEEDS

Sadly, COVID has made us such cold people. In trying to make sure I keep my father, my sisters and my friends with children or babies safe, I hardly touch people; which isn't too hard for me since I got to practice social distancing while I lived in Japan for a year and a half. Who knew that wearing masks and keeping distance would mean so much when we get hit by a pandemic that requires such measures.

Yet looking back, this is probably the exact reason why I decided to come home. I only got hugs on Sundays from church family or when a sneaky student can steal a hug from me at work (which I sheepishly accept with a school manager nodding that it's okay since in Japan, keeping distance is the norm.) 

When I got mugged, I never shed a tear. Not until I was with church family on Sunday and they gave me so much warmth. Not just from Filipino churchmates but from Japanese friends as well.

There were times that my student would have such big problems on their shoulders and it was only through touch, a pat on the back or a quick tap on their hand, that I could be there for them. Then they would translate on their phones that they needed that. That after that class, she was going to jump on the train tracks but because of that hug, it changed her mind. Another student told me he was crying with anxiety due to exams and school demands. Society's expectation to study3x, work3x, earn3x but because of the last tap on the shoulder I gave him before we ended class where I said, "Hey, see you. I'm always glad to see you. I expect you in class next week. Don't do anything stupid." is the reason why he appeared in class again the following week. A hug from my 3 year old when I just lost my grandfather made me grateful for her. She probably thought that she got warmth from her favorite teacher Ressa, but that hug did wonders for a grieving adult who had no family to come home to, to help deal with the grief.

The past year, I kind of felt the same way. In my home country at that, and I hate it. I can't hug people, people can't hug me. In order to protect one another, we have lost that warmth. That connection. Yet I hugged a friend who lost her father during this pandemic because I felt at that time that's what Christ would have wanted me to do for her. We just well didn't breathe during the entire time of the hug. LOL

I mean where do you draw the line between trying to be distant to protect your loved ones and your friends, and being too distant that you end up losing what it means to be human, and being the light that God made you to be during dark times such as these?

I'm currently reading a book by Joena San Diego who I recently found out happens to be a fellow churchmate from Victory Pasig and I quote, "Don't hold back your love from anything you say or do, dear friend, because His love through your life can change the lives of many. YOU ARE WHAT SOMEONE DESPERATELY NEEDS.", emphasis mine. 

1 Corinthians 16:14, "Let all that you do be done in love." Whether it be in a hug or a phone call. Check on your strong friends. Be intentional when you reach out to someone. That though we can't quickly date as much as we wanted to, as often as we're used to, that that person knows that you are still there. Praying for them before they even utter a word.

This year, I want to exude more love and warmth. Who knows, that love will save another struggling soul. The same way it saved mine when I needed it the most. 

Sorry but I Don't Do Coffee Anymore

I never thought I'd live a life where I would ever not be coffee dependent.  You see, If you've known me for quite some time, you'd know I live for coffee. My usual headaches come from not having my daily dose of coffee. A month clear of coffee. Wew!

I don't know. There's something about it. The quietness of having a cup of coffee by myself or the company, good conversations and sometimes the comfortable silence that comes along with drinking coffee with a good friend.

It's true what they say that it takes more or less 21 days to kick a habit and by far, this is probably the only habit I've kicked.

I'm not going to say it wasn't hard. Specially when you smell the brew coming from the person beside you, it's so tempting. I won't say I don't feel like grabbing a cup for myself; but truly the benefits have surely outweighed my choice to distance myself from it.

The past few weeks, I have had no migraines, no heart stopping mimics of what I'd think was a mini heart attack (but was actually acid reflux) and lesser anxiety. I've also lost 6kilos since I decided to stop drinking coffee.

If my memory serves me right, the last one I had was before the wedding that I attended that culminated in my accident. Perhaps knowing that I needed more calcium than caffeine to strengthen my bones, helped me wean myself from it.

So I apologize if I have to decline your coffee invites from now on. I guess we'll just have to check if they have milk, tea, a blueberry cheesecake or a white-cheese brownie for me.

Here's to a year full of breaking habits that will benefit us all in the end! We all know there are some things we can do away with anyway. Learn to let go of them.

For everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.

5 Years Later.. A Valentines Letter

Dear You,

I don't know where to start. Maybe by apologizing? For stopping the letters. I realized that it's been 5 years exactly since the last letter. As to why I stopped writing to you, I don't really know? It's mind-boggling really since I can't put my finger to an exact reason.

Perhaps I got too busy? Perhaps life got in the way. Or perhaps though I would not like to admit it, I got tired. Exhausted may even be the right word.

The past years that I've stopped writing, I learned a lot about myself and God. 

Where do I begin? Maybe in the first year I stopped writing.

In 2015, Things went by in a blur.  A good blur though. I finally got to be me. To go after things I prayed for in years. I finally practiced what I studied painstakingly in college for. I stepped foot in the Land of the Rising Sun. Something that I thought was a shelved dream in college, yet when God has His hands on it, it will be swift. Not completely trouble-free but in most parts, everything will be smooth.

This was the year that God enabled me to explore and get lost; but a good kind of lost since it was during these times that I found myself. Met a lot of interesting people. From all walks of life, ages, cultural backrounds even different faiths or lack of. From Atheists, Agnostic, Buddhist, Shinto, Jews. This opened my eyes and my heart. My heart became bigger. I prayed harder for people. I understood God's bigger picture. I understood more clearly what the gospel John meant.

In 2016, I got mugged and 2 weeks right after, I lost my grandfather in the Philippines. Being away from all loved ones and keeping things to myself so as to not worry my family back home. Handling these 2 life-altering events alone, made me pray harder for you. This was probably the time that I prayed for you when I woke up and when I went to sleep. I realized that in all the good things I experienced, all the good food I ate, but mostly in the most terrifying and saddest events in my life, I wanted to have someone to share it all with. I uttered a silent prayer that as much as God has kept me safe and healthy away from home, that He shielded you and your loved ones from all harm and illness too.

I went home that year and a good friend of mine prayed for you. In tears she said "Lord, I pray for Ressa's husband. That You will bring to her the man that she will share life's joys and burdens with." That prayer stuck to me and I realized that even as I lived my life as a content single young professional, God has touched the hearts of people around me to pray not only for me but you.

In 2017, I made up for lost time with family and adjusted to making my home into home again. 

In 2018, This was the most painful year by far. So much was happening internally. Many of which, only God knew about. This was a year of surrender in many areas of my life.

2019, I started it with a week-long flu, and on the day of my last antibiotic, I broke my leg. Both bones into 3. 24 stitches and a plate. Yet my heart is so full. My leg is of steel but my heart is still. So hopeful. So excited for what God has in store. It's been a few months in, and God has taught me so much about His Sovereignty and love. I've learned to communicate better and being okay with being helpless so that others can help and care for  me. This is the year that it's been 10 years since I met Him. I recall a decade ago when I let go of something very dear to me in hope and trust that God will provide someone who I will take a risk in once he has taken a risk in me. It is in this year that I have never been the most expectant for all the great things He has in store for me. If you come, you come. If still not yet, Christ has been and will forever be, more than enough.

I hope these short recaps of how the past 5 years show you how much God has come through for me. I pray that in those 5 years, though I have failed to write, that you know I have been praying for you. Maybe at times intently, at times haphazardly. As for the times I have failed, I pray that God has kept you well. I pray that as much as God has been molding me for you, He has been molding you for me. 

I can't wait to finally meet you and share more of how life's been the past decade I've been in Christ and waiting for you.

"Don’t be weary in prayer; keep at it; watch for God’s answers, and remember to be thankful when they come." Colossians 4:2

Until then,

Ressa

A Partner for the Next 2 Months

Now before you all go crazy, this partner is.. my crutches!

My PT told me to treat my crutches on our first session, "Treat this as your friend, after all it will be your partner for at most the next 2 months."

The past few weeks with my so called partner, I have learned the past few things:

1. I need to GET TO KNOW my partner.

2. As I let it get to know me, I need to BE COMFORTABLE with it.

3. I NEED TO TRUST my crutches. Wobble2x at the beginning but indeed, it's helped me prevent further accidents.

4. My crutches BALANCES ME OUT.

5. NO CHEATING. There are NO SHORTCUTS. The more you do shortcuts, the more accidents are prone to happen.

6. In relation to number 5, CHILL. Take your time.

7. GET USED to your partner.

8. Your crutches will help you in carrying your weight. DON'T BE AFRAID TO LET IT CARRY THE BURDEN.

9. TWO IS BETTER THAN ONE, always use both of them.

10. Sooner rather than later, you will be able to STAND ON YOUR OWN WITHOUT IT.

So there you are! Not exactly the post some of you were expecting at the beginning, but hey the things you learn from crutches.

Broken Bones are Lovely Bones

Last night, I lay in my bed reflecting on how Christ may have felt when His bones were broken. Why was it that I was never in pain and had peace during the entirety of my accident? Then I came to realize that perhaps because many years ago, someone else bore all that pain for me and all of mankind.

"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

Backtrack to what happened.

I attended a high school friend's wedding. On the way to my car to drive myself and a few friends home, my wedge heels got stuck in between those canal covers and I fell down. My left leg under my right, forming a "de-quatro" or figure 4. I thought it was just one of those slips so I tried to get up. When I couldn't get up, I knew something was horribly wrong.

A good friend of mine Dan, was able to flash some light and he said "Don't look. Let me ask for help." As we waited for the ambulance in the darkness I asked God why. Why me? I already ended 2018 by not being able to enjoy it due to a 1 week flu. I'm barely recovering and still on my last day of antibiotics then this? What a way to welcome 2019.

Yet in the stillness of the night, I came to understand that in God's Sovereignty it would have been impossible for him to have missed this. That He could have prevented things from happening yet He allowed it. 

Not to say that my broken leg was of God's doing but I came to remember Job. One of my favorite characters in the Bible. Who is known to be God's faithful. Even when he lost his flocks, his estate, his children, his wife and then lastly was hit with boils. 

The very enemy plotted hard to prove that all these taken away, Job will waver and curse the Lord. As satan went to God to tell him about his scheming plans, the Lord replied "Very well, then, everything he has is in your power, but on the man do not lay a finger." (Job 1:12)

The Lord said this about Job, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me to ruin him without any reason." (Job 3:4)

The thought alone that the Lord was with me amidst darkness and that He was still in control of my life, that even the enemy has to consult Him with what to do with me, comforted me as I waited for the ambulance. As I wondered why I couldn't have just reached my car as I usually would have, I realized that perhaps God wanted to prevent a full-on car accident with my 2 friends. That perhaps in His goodness I was given a broken leg over broken hips. I prayed that just like Job I hope I would come out of this ordeal as His most faithful.

Upon arriving at the ER, I honestly thought my friend Dan would leave me once my family arrived. Yet he didn't. He stayed with me til 6 in the morning. Even as his mother was telling him to go home, he never left my side. This showed me friendship at it's finest. 

You see, I'm the person that takes care of people and not the other way around. I'm the one used to being inconvenienced for others. The one that has it all together. The one who is always relied on. Yet at that point, I was at my most helpless. I had to rely on family and friends.

Today, I look at my right leg, with both bones broken into 3, plate and all 24 stitches, and see the beauty amidst suffering. Realizing that there is beauty in brokenness. 

This Saturday, my stitches will be removed but may my scars always remind me of God's love. Of how God loved me so much with an overwhelming love and care these past days through my sisters, my parents, my aunts, cousins, friends and church family. His amazing extension of healing from my medical team, from my aides, nurses and physical therapists.

Sometimes we doubt God's love when circumstances dictate we should. Sometimes we ask Him why and it is during these times that He answers. Perhaps not the ideal answers we long for but indeed He answers.

For the benefit of those who are still asking what happened, I hope this blog encapsulates everything. 

To my angels, you already know who you are. Thank you for being Christ's extension of His love for me.

To my ever-loving and Sovereign Father, thank You for answering me in the darkness of the night. Thank You for letting me start my 2019 right. I have never been more at peace and rested than in the past week. Truly there is peace and understanding that only You can give. Thank You for my life and my miraculous healing in and through You. Thank you for your goodness and great love for me. Thank You for seeing me.

On Surrendering

The past days I've been exhausted. Literally. In all sense of the word. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually then eventually physically.

My body finally gave in. The Ressa who has gotten used to always working, being always on the go has finally stopped functioning. I became tied to my bed for 3 days and counting. I couldn't drive, let alone walk. The worst way to end 2018. The worst way to welcome 2019.

It would have been great if being sick made my brain stop from thinking altogether. I still worked and made calls from my bed. I couldn't sleep either way. There's just so many things that need to be done. Eventually, after accomplishing what I had to do, I finally slept. The longest I probably had in the past few months.

Who knew I could also get exhausted from being exhausted.

I recalled the conversation I had with my discipler. Ate RJ and Kuya Migs right before I got sick.  When they asked how I was, that was the main gist of everything, EXHAUSTED. I told them how I noticed a cycle. It's always been that way. It always ended up that way. It's not as if I never learned and applied the lessons. I always have. I was always quick to obey. Yet the outcome was always sadly the same.

The answer Kuya Migs had was "Sometimes it's not about you. It's not even about you lacking something. If there is one thing we learned since we also went through that season is: SURRENDER. Perhaps the reason why God allows you to go through it over and over again is for you to come to a point of SURRENDER."

Total SURRENDER. Seems so easy. One word. Yet it took only the past few days of helplessness and complete exhaustion to teach me to finally say "LORD, INTO YOUR HANDS I SURRENDER."

So here's to a 2019 of me surrendering. Of putting everything back at the foot of your cross. Do as You find pleasing even when I may not understand Your ways most of the time.

On friendship

I learned that not everybody you meet will be a good friend. Some will be good for a while, then when that season is done they leave. Some teach you to be a better person while others make you realize that you actually are a good person.

One way or another, you learn more and more about yourself. You realize that it takes effort to make and retain a friendship. That those who value you will let it be known through the distance and over time.

I also learned that not everyone will have the same heart as you and that's okay. Value those that do and move forward from those who only continue to take rather than to give. At least you know that at the end of the day, you were not the reason for the demise of that friendship.

That indeed you gave it your all and that there are new friends to meet and and that there will be new friends to keep.

2013 Valentines letter to YOU

Dear You,

Remember when I told you last year that I'd write you a letter every Valentines? Well I remembered that promise. I am a person who keeps her promises. When I know I can't, I don't. Most probably because I myself, don't like it when people get my hopes up and don't see them through.

To be honest though, I didn't feel like writing one. Then again, I've been learning that commitments should not be based on my feelings alone. That I want to be a woman who is able to put to the plate what she said she would.

The past few days, God has dealt with me in many areas of love. One of which is to love without keeping any record of wrongs. A few days ago, I hurt a person I love most in this world, because of something I remembered growing up. I really thought I knew how to love but learned through that experience that I didn't. At least not by Jesus' standards.

This day started extremely well. Today, as I got ready to drive my sisters to school, I told them "If someone wants to give you something, it's okay to accept it and to bring it home. You don't have to hide it and don't forget to say thank you." I guess from this conversation, I'm learning that the key to any relationship specially with children is to keep communication lines open. Let them know what is acceptable according to your faith and   family values.

For my sisters I learned that as their Ate, I want to establish 1. Trust 2. Openness 3. Honesty 4. Gratitude. I want them to know that they can TRUST me that I will not scold them, I won't nag, I will listen but in return they also have to trust that I will always have their best intentions and if I do have to point some things out, it will always be (I hope) for their own good. I want to let them know that they can be open to me and that honesty would always be highly favored, plus even if they lie; I have means in uncovering the truth. HAHA. I want them to know that in everything, give thanks specially when they're blessings. I guess these are little things. These are things that we are taught in Kindergarten yet as we grow older, we are forced to devalue.

The Story of Us

Yesterday, I really thought I wouldn't be able to go to church, much alone worship.

It's just how events work.  It's just the nature of the job.  You will always have to be on your toes.  Expect the unexpected.  Time and time again, we have to remind ourselves that we are also called to be excellent even in the workplace and that such excellence pleases an excellent God.

Saturday evening, I asked 2 good friends to pray with me so that I could attend the 5PM or at the very least, the 7PM service.  Yet I knew that up until the event dinner, I would have to be mobile so in between my tasks yesterday, I fought for some time with the LORD. Fortunately, there was a livestream of a 10AM service on http://www.victoryfort.tv/

I thought that was my closest call to getting my feeding for the day.

I went through my day and enjoyed working with my boss and colleagues.  I enjoyed meeting a couple from my hometown, Laguna.  I smiled when I was told to entertain VIPs.  I had to be on stage most of the time.  I had to assist a performer and call medics when his nose bled after his performance.  I surprisingly was asked to lead the prayer during dinner.  Yet these are things that I'm quick to say yes to because it's why you're there.  Make the most of it.  It's always an opportunity to bless and serve people.

During dinner, I got to finally chill with the working team.  You get to know more about each other.  You learn to laugh the night away.

I am very fortunate to be working in a good environment.  To be meeting new people and learning to serve alongside them. 

Oh and just in case you're wondering, I got to run off just in the nick of time for the 7PM service.  A little late for my own liking since I'm usually always early for Sunday services or any appointment, yet I know that I fought for things that matter.  I fought for my time with You and in return you honored my desire.  I guess that's what "The Story of US" will always be.  Me uttering silent prayers and You being a very generous God to answer.

 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42

From the Highest of Mountains to the Depths of the Sea.

I learned to love hiking in Japan. Perhaps because the beaches there are nothing compared to the beauty of our beaches here in Negros.

Before I left, I was more of a beach person. Staring out at the waves, hearing it crash to the shore. Taking in all that salty air. A trickle of salt on my lips. Yes, the beach instantly calms me.

It's as if for a moment there, you just get reminded that everything is in place. Everything is just right.

Yesterday, I planned with some church friends to go hiking. Days before the said hike, we realized due to work and some personal reasons, almost all of us couldn't make it.

So I prayed and asked a few close friends to help me pray for favor. 'Coz after spending time with a ton of people and the busyness of life, I just need to get away and breathe.

A few hours before the said hike, I found out I could go!

They say when you hike, you have to hike either by yourself or a friend for it to be effective. 'Coz the purpose of the hike is to regain your sense of things. To be one with nature.

Now how can you do that if you go on a hike with someone that you'd fight with as you try reaching the top? Someone that would discourage you from reaching your goal? Someone who would drive you nuts you'd like to push them over the edge when you get there?


So here are some things I've learned from that 6.6km hike:

1. Hike with the right people.

2. It's always better to be with someone. Life is not meant to be traveled alone.

3. Pace yourself. Baby steps. It's okay if you go slow. Just keep moving.

4. Appreciate the person who will look for you when you're trailing behind and guide you.

5. Say thank you when someone calls to check if everything is okay. It means they care. You are not forgotten.

6. Appreciate life when you find a person that will link arms with you and remind you of the beautiful view up there.

7. There is a time to share and there is a time to listen. 6.6kms will help you realize that.

8. Friends are an extension of God's love and grace toward us.

9. It is great to break bread together to share in laughter.

10. Time. Time is the best gift you can give to anyone and to yourself.

11. Glory. God's glory is around you. Even when you think otherwise.

12. Finish what you started.

13. Rejoice with those who rejoice with you.

14. Share each other's burden.

15. The pain is all worth it in the end. God has something beautiful in store for you if only you persevere.


The list could go on but then I wouldn't have a reason to write again now would I?

Oh and of course, we always go back to our first loves.. We went to Dauin on a whim. Wahoo BEACH!

Again, all is well with my soul.


"For where two or three gather together in My name, there am I among them." Matthew 18:20

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands." Psalm 19:1

“Listen to this, Job; stop and consider God’s wonders." Job 37:14

"How many are your works, LORD! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures. There is the sea, vast and spacious, teeming with creatures beyond number— living things both large and small." Psalm 104:24-25


Here are some photos of those who taught me these things and many more:

Abba, thank you for linking arms with me.

Sashi, your surprise at the peak reminded me of God's surprises and mindfulness.

The best people to climb with!

Imagine if I stopped, I wouldn't have seen all of this!

Kin, your leadership and discipline is worth emulating.

Keep climbing!

On Constants

A good car conversation with a friend last night reminded me of my constant.

The constant we always knew. The constant we always held on to. 

The constant we always loved. The constant that we adored.

The constant that we longed for. The constant that delighted in us. 

The constant that craves to be there for us and never leaves us when everyone and everything has failed.

When I woke up this morning, I was reminded of a promise that constant gave me many years ago. That I held on to unceasingly for a season yet have quickly and sadly forgotten.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17 

Constant and unwavering.

I think now I know the true meaning of this verse. An entirely new meaning then when I first encountered it many years ago.

I used to focus only on the first part, "The every good and perfect gift." Yet today it reminds me of the Father of the heavenly lights, WHO DOES NOT CHANGE LIKE SHIFTING SHADOWS.

Same word but still sheds light into a different season of life. I am reminded that life should be looked upon as seasons and not stages. 

That through every season He is there for us. He will sustain us. Because that's who He is "A good and perfect gift from above that came down to fulfill His promises."

Whatever it is that your heart is holding on to, know that in His hands, in His time, in His terms, in His ways they will come to fruition because of who He is and who we are in relation to him.

He has, He does, He will.

3 Months. You Can Still Turn Things Around. A Reason to Stay.

I've been contemplating on writing again because there really isn't that much to write about.  So where do I begin?

The past year has gone by a blur.  The first half of 2018 hurt.  A lot.  Probably the most in my 31 years of existence.

It has been an excruciating process of holding on, and letting go.  Of getting my hopes up only to be brought down again.  Yet in the middle of the year around May 2018, things slowly picked up.  I started to smile again.

There's still 3 months. 3 good months that the Lord has also made. I know You can turn this around.

You are after all, still the Lord of both answered and unanswered prayers.  The Lord of surprises.  My Lord who will always be for me when even at times, I can't be for me.

A reason to stay.  Just a reason to stay.

An Ode to 2016

It's funny how so many times I resolve to keep my blog alive. Yet it's really something that gets lost with the noise of life.

Perhaps it's the throes of social media that gets in the way. Maybe it's pure idleness. Whatever it is, I will now do my best to just write. Write when something is good, write when something is bad. Write when something is interesting. Write when it's a normal day.

Today, I just encouraged a friend to go back to blogging. I said I'll do the same. I was thinking, you know you're not going to get to it. So here goes! An Ode to 2016. Let's do a breakdown.

January 2016, first time to leave my family after the holidays back to Japan with no tears. This month taught me that you'll get used to it. Saying goodbye and saying hello. Your tearducts will run dry. Knowing that with every goodbye, there will always be that joy of saying hello.

February 2016, nothing too interesting except learning that in Japan girls make the first move. They go through all the trouble to buy and make their own chocolates and give it to the person they adore. If that person receives it, then great. If not, then you eat the chocolates. Either way, it's a win-win situation.

March 2016, everything that you wouldn't want to happen. Not even on your worst enemy. I got mugged on my day off after a day of reaching out to someone from church. After struggling with what little Japanese I knew, then shifting to English then just uttering the name of Jesus in prayer, my Longchamp bag was thrown back at me, the man turns on me on his motorcycle and says Gomenasai (Sorry in Japanese).  3 hours of grueling interrogation with the Chiba Japan police out in the winter cold, going to work with only 4 hours of sleep. This taught me God's protection and the power of His name goes beyond culture and language. I got everything back and survived with only a knee scratch. The man was kind enough not to elbow me or run me over after I kicked his motorcycle twice and caused damage on his bike. Oh well.

Exactly 2 weeks after, the day I was supposed to go back to the police station for a sketch despite the mendoksai (hassle) I find out my Tatay, my loving grandfather is in the ICU. Struggling to understand why things were happening. The mugging then the possibility of losing a loved one, I brought myself to pray. When we found out we lost him, I booked a ticket home, sent my boss an email and left the Land of Rising Sun promising to return in 5 days time. First time to go home feeling like my heart was not beating anymore. I learned how strong I could be because of my God. The importance of family and that at times like this, your job doesn't really matter. You just go home and being with family is all that matters.

April 2016, I move out of my apartment right when I return to Japan. Of course, the man got nothing from me and I damaged his motorcycle. The physical and emotional strength to go back to work, pack like crazy while you still mourn. I credit all that to the grace of God.

May 2016, He brought me to meet new friends. Some stayed and left. I learned to LET IT GO. LET IT BE. Not everybody will value you the way you value them.

June 2016, Went home for my sister's college graduation from the University of the Philippines Diliman. Mom was coming home again. This time we could all smile and rejoice. In March we realized we didn't even have a photo. How can we even think of a photo as we mourned. This was my shortest travel ever. It was just over a long weekend but it was well worth it.

July 2016. Getting new students. Some of them saying farewell first. It's hard because they're the reasons why I go to work but knowing how social media works, it's fine..

So basically it's 4 days til the end of February 2018 and well I failed to even finish this blog entry. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next year. Hear from me then?

3 Months After Getting Mugged in Japan, Losing my Grandfather, Moving to A New Apartment, I WRITE AGAIN

So here I am, needing to pack but haven't done any of that yet. Thinking of what to do first. Realizing this was the same predicament I had 3 months ago when I learned I needed to leave Japan because my grandfather or Tatay as we fondly called him, passed away.

That flight, was the first time of going back home that I was not at all elated. I haven't seen my mother in a year since I left for the Land of the Rising Sun, but I wasn't even excited for that. I cried the night before, I cried the morning I dragged myself to the airport, conditioning myself that once I land in the Philippines I needed to be strong for my mom, my sisters and for the rest of my family. 

When I learned about Tatay's conditon, that was the day I was supposed to go to the Chiba police for another round of interrogation and police sketch of my attacker. To be honest, I contemplated about going in again because I could no longer recall anymore information that I haven't already told them. I mean I've exhausted in much detail to the best of my ability all that I knew during the initial 3 hours of CSI and interrogation we did in the winter cold. As well as another round of questioning and re-enactment the day after.

To cut that short but for you all to get the gist here are some photos which I sent my company that night as proof so they'd understand if I was sort of out of it when I reported to work that day with only 3hrs of sleep in.

Seriously, I went through a lot. From shock to denial, to acceptance that yes I got mugged in what is considered as one of the safest countries in Asia. Shock to denial to acceptance of how stressful it is to be involved in a criminal case in a country I could not speak the language in. I would wear running shoes to work so I could run from the train station to my house (since my mugger has not been caught and since I fought back by kicking his motorcycle twice to fight for my Gaijin card and passport, I was fearful he would come back.)

The ironic thing was I never cried when I got mugged. I only broke down when people at church showed me so much love and concern. I remember going one Sunday and asking for only one thing which was for my peace and joy to be restored. I have always been a smiling person. I loved Japan from the day I stepped foot in it and I was not going to leave the country with such bad memory.

I knew that "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10 and all I knew was I had to cling on all the more to the Lord for my peace and joy to come back.

Just when I thought I was getting my footing back, exactly 2 weeks from getting mugged, I learned that my Tatay was in critical condition I broke down in tears but still went to work praying he'd be OK. After 24hours, he passed. My only consolation amidst all of my tears was that years ago, my Tatay like me accepted Christ as his personal Lord and Savior and that he is no longer suffering.

So another round of shock to denial to acceptance that my grandfather passed away. Again, when I learned about the news, I cried myself to sleep. I was only able to sleep when I prayed. Woke up the next day to work and booked the first flight out of Japan the next morning.

Fast forward to coming back to Japan after much needed time with family as we coped with the loss of my grandfather together; I was faced with having to clean my apartment out so I could move into a new apartment which I fought hard for due to my safety. 

I honestly was glad to have been with family yet I felt defeated. Defeated enough to even want to stay at the place where I got mugged. Filled with so much exhaustion both emotionally, physically and spiritually. Yet I knew I had to move on. Move forward. That it wasn't where God wanted me to be more so, to remain in. (Another blog entry will be for the answered prayer of my apartment and and another answered prayer in the people God used to help me gain back my peace, joy and security.)

A lot of people think that as a Christian we're exempted from all pain. Being a Christian doesn't work that way. It's not like in Monopoly where we get a free pass before we go to jail or become a millionaire. Not at all. If that was the case then I shouldn't have experienced all of that. I should have been the last person to have been mugged or have lost a loved one. I know I got through it because of Him. Only by His grace, His strength, His love and His peace.

1 Peter 1:7 "These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

Now I really have to pack. My flight's in a few hours and this time no more tears. Only happy tears. 'Til next blog! 

Where have I been all this time?

It's funny how just this Saturday a college friend asked where exactly I am right now. Perhaps he has been nostalgic of college years and well the last time I saw him was just that, college. So much has happened since then.

A lot of people posted congratulations on my wall a few months back and so some thought I got engaged or married. It's not that. I've just kept my departure and my returns pretty low-key. Only those who have spent their time with me as my departure neared, knew about it.

So here's the story. Around this very time last year I received an opportunity for a teaching job in Japan. From the very start, getting my passport renewed, resigning by faith, praying for a replacement I could train, everything just fell into place. The provision, the time, it all just happened to show off God's glory.

So last March 2015 I was asked about my availability to go to Japan. I had to say no. For the following very important reasons: 1. My youngest sister was graduating and years ago I made a promise I'd be there. You see my sister told me "Ate, I know you can't be with us forever. I understand you have your own life too. But please2x after I graduate elementary. I promise I'll be ready and you can work anywhere in the world." She tells me this I think when she was in the 4th grade or was it 3rd? And I couldn't come to terms with it at first. Coz that meant 2-3 more years during that time.

I knew I wanted something for me. I knew I could do so much more. Be so much more. So I fought God's plans. God's timing. I struggled. To apply for jobs outside of Dumaguete. Sending applications here and there, until the Department of Foreign Affairs Foreign Service Institute invited me for a pre-employment exam so I flew to Manila the next day to take it. Deciding that as I wait for the results, I'll send more applications to embassies and other government institutions.

To cut the story short, the Lord didn't grant me the job there. He made a 1day exam day turn into 2 months to just REST. I have a hard time resting. Specially when bills are piling up. But He granted a good 2 months with family. He granted me time much needed to travel with loved ones, cook for my grandmother, and see my youngest niece celebrate her 1birthmonth celebration.

I came back home having no job, increasing bills. Yet soon as I came home He was faithful. He got me a job. A job that enabled me to pay off piled up bills in less than 3 months. I worked for a Canadian-based publishing company. Worked with such intelligent people and that lasted almost a year. It prepared me for the roller coaster ride the Lord had in plan for me.

Now fastforward to 2015 that turned swiftly into 2016, I'm here! I've been here in the Land of the Rising Sun. It may have taken a while but He got me to where He wanted me. He knows where to take you and exactly how and when. Don't think He has forgotten or that he doesn't remember your heart's longings. Even when you've forgotten them yourself, He is faithful.