When God Whispers | Peace Over Anxiety | Unveiling Plans

So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. (I mean what's new?) But more than thinking, I've been doing a lot of praying and a lot of seeking. I've been shutting out some noise to make sure I am still keen to hearing His voice. 

Recently I have been having mini-bouts of anxiety. Which I notice dwindles down right when I spend time away from everything and just really dig deep into my quiet times. 

When I'm quiet, it usually means three things. 1. I am observing. 2. I am reflecting. 3. I am praying. Now, what exactly do I observe, reflect on and what do I pray for? My surroundings, the people in my direct line of sight, the people that I'm not even looking at, my responses to these people and my environment. Are my responses right, are they wrong, are they wise. 

Now don't get me wrong. I don't always do this. There are also many times I plainly zone out. Aisha, a good friend of mine and I confirmed that at times, we process things a little differently than others. Sometimes we process our thoughts and our emotions in an instant, but most of the time we process things within a 24-48 hr. time frame. Just like businesses. Usually it is during this time frame that we hear God whisper. We read the Word. We repent. We apply. 

I have come to realize that the anxiety and worries of this world all fade away the closer I get to the Lord. Likewise, when I am far from the Lord, the more anxious and worried about the most minute things that I get. I have learned to take breathers, I learned to park things, no matter how short or long of a time that may entail. I've learned to toss things Up to the One who actually knows and has the power to do something about things I can no longer carry on my own.

Whenever I do this, everything seems futile. So tiny and insignificant when pitted against my One, True, Love. The greatest man in my life, my Abba Father. 

It seems that due to the Valentines hurly burly, a lot of people, myself included have been hungover about relationships; but my focus is more on the relationships that molded me. My immediate family, my church family, colleagues, past hurts, and all others. 

I had my quiet time early Sunday morning and it was in Amos 3:3 and 3:7.

Though I understand that this verse is commonly used during weddings or couple anniversaries, these verses spoke to me differently. 

It told me that in a family, a church setting, or even in the office and among friend circles, this is how it works. It all boils down to TWO PEOPLE WHO AGREE TO WALK IN THE LORD and the assurance that GOD WILL UNVEIL HIS PLANS TO HIS SERVANTS AND PROPHETS little by little. 

Little by little. He doesn't just lays down everything for us. He will however pave the path for us LITTLE BY LITTLE. Just enough wisdom and hope to go on. To continue pressing on, but it is up to Him WHEN AND IF He will tell us His plans. We have to trust though that He will and that even when He doesn't, He is still a good, good Father.

Sometimes my anxiety boils down to the millenial thoughts of I DESIRE THIS. I WANT THIS. I DESERVE THIS. GIVE IT TO ME NOW. Often times, that's when the rifts between people we are in relation with parents-child, boss-employee, siblings, friends, customer-waiter happens and more often than not, when things are fueled by anxiety and this immediate rush, things end up failing. We say and do things we shouldn't have. We often end up regretting the hasty and harsh words that came out of our mouths and the actions that followed right after.

Yesterday's preaching cemented this early Sunday quiet time in reminding me that UNITY IS OF THE ESSENCE. We have to see eye to eye. Perhaps not always and not on everything, but we must be united on the core things and during crucial times, so that the Glory of God radiates and pours out in overflow to our surroundings. 

I can write so much more about the whispers of God. I probably would, but for now.. Lunch. And yes, naa siyay kalamunggay. HAHAHA

I leave you with this and I pray that it helps you deal with this Manic Monday and the rest of the week.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Broken Bones are Lovely Bones

Last night, I lay in my bed reflecting on how Christ may have felt when His bones were broken. Why was it that I was never in pain and had peace during the entirety of my accident? Then I came to realize that perhaps because many years ago, someone else bore all that pain for me and all of mankind.

"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

Backtrack to what happened.

I attended a high school friend's wedding. On the way to my car to drive myself and a few friends home, my wedge heels got stuck in between those canal covers and I fell down. My left leg under my right, forming a "de-quatro" or figure 4. I thought it was just one of those slips so I tried to get up. When I couldn't get up, I knew something was horribly wrong.

A good friend of mine Dan, was able to flash some light and he said "Don't look. Let me ask for help." As we waited for the ambulance in the darkness I asked God why. Why me? I already ended 2018 by not being able to enjoy it due to a 1 week flu. I'm barely recovering and still on my last day of antibiotics then this? What a way to welcome 2019.

Yet in the stillness of the night, I came to understand that in God's Sovereignty it would have been impossible for him to have missed this. That He could have prevented things from happening yet He allowed it. 

Not to say that my broken leg was of God's doing but I came to remember Job. One of my favorite characters in the Bible. Who is known to be God's faithful. Even when he lost his flocks, his estate, his children, his wife and then lastly was hit with boils. 

The very enemy plotted hard to prove that all these taken away, Job will waver and curse the Lord. As satan went to God to tell him about his scheming plans, the Lord replied "Very well, then, everything he has is in your power, but on the man do not lay a finger." (Job 1:12)

The Lord said this about Job, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me to ruin him without any reason." (Job 3:4)

The thought alone that the Lord was with me amidst darkness and that He was still in control of my life, that even the enemy has to consult Him with what to do with me, comforted me as I waited for the ambulance. As I wondered why I couldn't have just reached my car as I usually would have, I realized that perhaps God wanted to prevent a full-on car accident with my 2 friends. That perhaps in His goodness I was given a broken leg over broken hips. I prayed that just like Job I hope I would come out of this ordeal as His most faithful.

Upon arriving at the ER, I honestly thought my friend Dan would leave me once my family arrived. Yet he didn't. He stayed with me til 6 in the morning. Even as his mother was telling him to go home, he never left my side. This showed me friendship at it's finest. 

You see, I'm the person that takes care of people and not the other way around. I'm the one used to being inconvenienced for others. The one that has it all together. The one who is always relied on. Yet at that point, I was at my most helpless. I had to rely on family and friends.

Today, I look at my right leg, with both bones broken into 3, plate and all 24 stitches, and see the beauty amidst suffering. Realizing that there is beauty in brokenness. 

This Saturday, my stitches will be removed but may my scars always remind me of God's love. Of how God loved me so much with an overwhelming love and care these past days through my sisters, my parents, my aunts, cousins, friends and church family. His amazing extension of healing from my medical team, from my aides, nurses and physical therapists.

Sometimes we doubt God's love when circumstances dictate we should. Sometimes we ask Him why and it is during these times that He answers. Perhaps not the ideal answers we long for but indeed He answers.

For the benefit of those who are still asking what happened, I hope this blog encapsulates everything. 

To my angels, you already know who you are. Thank you for being Christ's extension of His love for me.

To my ever-loving and Sovereign Father, thank You for answering me in the darkness of the night. Thank You for letting me start my 2019 right. I have never been more at peace and rested than in the past week. Truly there is peace and understanding that only You can give. Thank You for my life and my miraculous healing in and through You. Thank you for your goodness and great love for me. Thank You for seeing me.